Life at a Lively Pace

Was our Christmas perfect this year? Depending on the specific point during the weekend, you would have gotten several different answers. Everything from perfectly lovely to perfectly frustrating. From an incredibly good time with family (laughing till you’re crying and your sides hurt) to having a cat get sick on the just-cleaned carpet (losing breakfast and, shortly thereafter, having an “accident”). From a beautiful Christmas Eve candlelight service to a malfunctioning garbage disposal and a kitchen sink drainage problem that backed up into the dishwasher, which, inevitably, began to leak out onto the floor. At one point yesterday morning, I was on the verge of tears and ready to call it quits.

Thankfully, I am married to a sane, compassionate man. He stopped what he was doing, grabbed me and hugged me until I calmed down. He told me that it would be OK, to let go of “perfect” - it doesn’t exist on this side of heaven. He was right (which, in and of itself, is annoying).

Reflecting on that thought now, several hours after the last of the disasters, brings to mind that first Christmas. Yes, the timing was perfect, the setting was intentional and everything about it was designed by God but, from a human perspective, it was all “wrong”. A very pregnant, unwed Jewish girl took an incredibly uncomfortable trip on the back of a donkey because the pagan (and greedy) government required her husband-to-be to go to his hometown for a head count for taxing purposes. She ends up birthing her “illegitimate” child in a stable alongside animals because the hotel reservation system didn’t work. Their first visitors were no one they knew, a band of smelly shepherds - a career that was considered to be at one of the lowest rungs of the social ladder.

Jesus didn’t have to leave heaven - He could have left us to our own devices- but His love for us compelled His choice to do so. He set aside the status and benefits of being God to become “God With Us”, complete with all of the messy, impotent trappings of humanity. Jesus came to us, born illegitimately, to make us legitimate heirs.

In the hustle and bustle of last-minute preparations, I lost sight of that. I was trying to create a perfect holiday. Jesus created a perfect way - Himself - to reunite us with God. So, was our Christmas perfect? Absolutely!

I saw this in the December 2002 issue of Good Housekeeping magazine. A little levity is good at this time of year - helps keep your sanity intact.

14 Holiday Commandments

1. When thou bakest the holiday goodies, thou will treat thyself to some of the goodly ones and not just to the slightly burnt ones that ye would be too embarrassed to giveth unto others.
2. Yea, though ye walk through the mall on December 24, ye shall not buy any singing fish, nor any pull-my-finger gags, no matter how desperate thou art to find something for thy brother-in-law.

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“What we anticipate seldom occurs, what we least expected generally happens.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

No one can deny it – we all have our expectations and, to some degree, a picture in our minds of how perfectly everything would turn out if people just did (or said) things our way. It is hard to accept that life does not always go according to our plans.

December was always a rough month at college. Final papers were due and exams loomed just around the corner. In the midst of a very stressful month, we would do just about anything to decompress. For the most part, it was always the four of us – Dave and Leah, Bob and me. It had been decided that, for the last weekend before Christmas break, we would meet at Bob’s room at the beginning of open-dorm hours to exchange gifts. Leah came to my room at 7PM and we walked over to the men’s dorm. Expecting Bob’s door to be open, it was a bit of a surprise to find shut and locked. After knocking on the door, we went up to Dave’s room. Dave’s roommate, Alan, was there. Alan had no idea where Dave and Bob had disappeared to.

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Many people vocalize the things they are thankful for around this time of year. I usually don’t don’t join the fray. It’s not that I have nothing to be thankful for because I most certainly do. While I have a lot of opinions on a lot of topics and will share them, those opinions are on things external and not a part of me. The closer the topic gets to who I really am, the more I am to keep those thought and feelings internalized.

However, I will join the fray this year. Foremostly, I thank God for who He is and what He has taught me in the last year Some lessons were harder than others to learn, but He never let me feel abandoned in the midst of the lessons. One of those lessons is best summed up this way:

If God is trying to teach me a lesson, it would behoove me to pay attention the first time. He’ll keep repeating the lesson in various scenarios and at various times until I “get it” - each occurence a little worse than the previous one. Trust me on this - sit up, pay attention to the whole set of instructions and follow directions. The lesson is shorter and there’s less aggravation.

Here’s my list (in no particular order):

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A good friend sent this link to me a few minutes ago.  I will be smiling all day as a result.

I’ve been working on a facelift for a friend’s blog. Having run into some unruly code, I spent the better portion of a week in a computer cave, oblivious to the happenings in the world around me. I came up for air briefly last week, just in time to hear about Kent Hovind and the tax fraud allegations as well as the Ted Haggard scandal. It was enough to make me want to live in the computer cave permanently.

The blogosphere is chock full of blame and explanations as to who went wrong and why. Tim Challies has a good perspective on the matter:

“If we look to Ted Haggard as a representative of all that is wrong in Evangelicalism, I think we miss the most important lesson. The lesson we need to learn is that we are every bit as sinful and fallible and willful and depraved as Haggard; perhaps more so. It is only the grace of God that, like a spider being held over the flame by a nearly-invisible web, prevents me from giving in to all the sin that is in me and being dragged down by it. Oh, that He would continue to extend this grace! And oh, that I would take heed lest I, too, fall, for what is in Haggard is in me.”

There is a tendency for us Christians to vociferously agree with the statement that humanity is totally depraved. However, when we get to church, we behave and expect to see others behave in a manner that all but screams, “Look at me! Am I not all nice and clean? I don’t think nasty thoughts or do bad things ’cause I’m redeemed and the redeemed are above that sort of thing.” Honestly, how comfortable would you be describing your deepest darkest secrets, thoughts and desires to the average person in your church? I know I wouldn’t be because the average church-going Christian, at least the ones I’ve been around, would :

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Ever since junior high, I have loved algebra. I “got” it. I was always a great math student but something about algebra made me fly and my math grades reflected that. Getting the right answer was necessary but was nowhere as exciting as was the problem solving process. There were plenty of rules to memorize; however, the rules did not hinder. Instead, as long as I played by the rules, I could twist, turn and sometimes invert the equation until the answer was naturally exposed - much like a peapod exposes its contents under pressure.

Because I understood it well, enjoyed it so much and was beginning to exhibit the ability to teach, I was asked by my teachers to tutor other kids in class that just weren’t getting it. Sometimes, a peer can go further than a teacher by explaining things in a language that another struggling student suddenly can grab onto. I tutored all the way through high school, into college and now, 10+ years out of college, I still do some tutoring though not as frequently. While it would not be accurate to say that I was prideful in my ability, I certainly was a bit smug.

At some point late in high school, it occurred to me that algebra wasn’t math. Yes, there were numbers involved as well as computational symbols and the necessary rules, but it was much more. Algebra wasn’t so much about getting the answer (though it was important) as much as it was an ongoing lesson in logical problem solving. You have to find a solution to a dilemma by using information that is known/revealed and you have to work within the confines of a framework of rules. Suddenly, the light bulb inside my head turned on. That’s not math - that’s life! Now I really “got it” . I understood the big picture and went on my merry way, spreading the knowledge around to others as I moved through life.

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I’m sitting here, waiting for my husband to get home from work.  Yes, it’s after 11PM and yes, he’s been at work since 8 AM.  His job recently has become hectic as the result of several large national projects occuring concurrently with some rather nasty IT issues that have all but prevented him from getting his work done.  All things considered, it is overtime pay.  While we’re not getting rich, it allows us to get ahead on bills and we are thankful to God for that. 

It just occured to me, however, that there seems to be another side to the blessing. Not a negative, mind you, but an underside/backside.  Just as we get a little excited about being able to catch up on bills, something else comes up that eats away practically all of the extra.  My latest “case in point” entails the last two weeks.  There was plenty of overtime and, theoretically, a decent sized extra to the paycheck which will be direct-deposited at the end of this week.  Until the visit to the mechanic yesterday.  My husband’s car had to have an oil change, get inspected, get new rear brake pads and new rotors put in. 

Given this pattern,  it appears that God sends the circumstances to set up the overtime because He’s providing for a future need before it happens.  While I am grateful, one side of me - the very human side - wants to know if there’s any other way this can be handled.  I would rather have God prevent the need from occuring.  That way, hubbie can work decent hours and we spend time with each other rather than being two ships that pass in the night.  This, of course, is not up to me and I am learning to be thankful in all situations.

Blessings can be a little ironic.

Dear _____________,

I know this letter may come out of the blue for you. I do not typically express myself vocally. Folks are left with the impression that I don’t care about them personally and that various situations are of no consequence. I get overly self-conscious when I speak that which is on my mind and in my heart; consequently, it creates a disconnect between my brain and my mouth. My thoughts and feelings are best expressed when I write.

You are intelligent, humble and compassionate. I respect you tremendously. You have accomplished much over the course of your life without trampling on others. I see Christ reflected in you in your dealings with the greatest and the least. You rejoice with us when all is well and grieve with us when things take a tragic turn. You have taken us, a motley crew, and created a family. You are, in essence, Dad, mentor, counselor, business man and friend.

I am greatly worried in light of the events that have recently transpired. The worry is not for myself - it is for you. Your face carries a look of despair now - one that none of us ever saw on your face even when you were dealing with the serious health issues of a loved one. Your heart now is broken because of an inevitable decision that you had to make.

Your decision had an immediate and definite impact on you and all of us. Ironically, you were forced to sell a large chunk of your childhood and adulthood in order to protect it from extinction. In this situation, no other decision would have made sense. There are so many memories entangled in this, both yours and ours. It would not surprise me to learn that you might somehow feel as if you’ve betrayed us. A few do feel that way, but for their own childish and, dare I say, selfish reasons. However, the rest of us - those of us who truly want what is best for you - understand that you made a wise decision, under a lot of pressure, and in no way feel betrayed.

Please understand that we are on your side. You are not in this alone. We are praying that God would surround you with a sense of peace. You’ve done everything in your power to support each of us in times of need. Please allow us do the same for you.

About a month ago, my sister announced that she was pregnant with her first child.  We were all excited - the first grandchild for my parents and the first niece/nephew for me that I didn’t “inherit” when I married my husband.

I got a phone call from my mother yesterday just after I had left my office.  My sister had gone for a routine checkup and was told by the doctor that she had been carrying twins.  However,  there was no heartbeat from either one - she lost both of them.

My sister was too distraught to make a bunch of phone calls herself, so she asked Mom to do it for her.  Due to my schedule yesterday, I couldn’t call her until later in the evening.  For whatever reason, there was no answer at the house and the answering machine was not picking up the call.  I’ll have to try again tonight.

This hurts.  This really, really hurts.  And the worst part of it is that she & her husband live outside of Chicago, a half-country away from us.  There are no words to say in a situation like this.

I just want to hug and hold her but I can’t.