Life at a Lively Pace

A group of women in my office were passing around a certain green vegetable as a snack. A discussion started - they were trying to determine if it was a bean or a snow pea. Having grown up with a garden of vegetables planted every year, I looked up from my work, glanced at the veggie in question and stated “string bean”. Now that the question was answered, one woman started to split open the pods and eat the beans inside. I went back to my work.

A very short time later, the woman commented that she had dropped one of the beans. In the next breath, she stated, “I like the little ones the best”. I looked up to make a comment and saw her with her hand down the front of her blouse.

Too funny!

I saw this in the December 2002 issue of Good Housekeeping magazine. A little levity is good at this time of year - helps keep your sanity intact.

14 Holiday Commandments

1. When thou bakest the holiday goodies, thou will treat thyself to some of the goodly ones and not just to the slightly burnt ones that ye would be too embarrassed to giveth unto others.
2. Yea, though ye walk through the mall on December 24, ye shall not buy any singing fish, nor any pull-my-finger gags, no matter how desperate thou art to find something for thy brother-in-law.

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A good friend sent this link to me a few minutes ago.  I will be smiling all day as a result.

The truth was bound to come out. Truth can be hidden, stifled and altered but, eventually, there’s nothing you can do other than face up to it.

I took a test last night.  I was reviewing the test this morning and realized that, in my  bleary-eyed state, I missed a few questions.  So I retook the test. Hence, the result - I am a major geek.  42.4% geek.

But, you always knew it, didn’t you?

This was the funny story that I was going to post a month ago until other circumstances got in the way.

Other than having met her at church when we first moved out to PA, I had not had the chance to spend any length of time with this particular individual until a certain event in the recent past. We got to know each other and realized that we share some of the same interests. After she told me this story, I laughed so hard that I cried and warned that it may show up in my blog. She agreed on the condition that she remain anonymous. I am complying with her request and, as such, she will be known as Fuschia.

Fuschia said that she had checked email one morning to find that someone had forwarded her a link to a particular Flash animation. Being the fun-loving sort, she clicked on the link. There, she found a little game. The rules were simple : you had to see how fast and how hard you could, ummm, apply corporal punishment to the primate.

(I refuse to publish the exact slang terminology. I don’t want traffic from the sort of people that would be searching for that verbiage. Furthermore, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, be thankful.)

None the wiser, Fuschia thought it was a funny little game. After playing for a while, she forwarded the link onto her siblings - neither is a Christian. She also passed it on to several other people she knew. It didn’t take long for one of her siblings to get back to her. While they were all for fun and games, they were a little mystified that Fuschia was more twisted than they had thought.

“What do you mean, ‘twisted’?”

They went on to explain exactly what it meant. Fuschia was mortified and apologized.

She was very thankful that she hadn’t gotten around to sending it to some of her friends at church.

Just ran across this in my search for something else.  It's the Da Vinci Code a la Chaucer. Brings back odd memories of The Canterbury Tales. (HT: BHT-Michael Spencer)

You get them.  I get them.  Just about anyone with an email address gets them. No, not SPAM.  I'm talking about those "kind" letters forwarded to me by everyone else that has my address advising me of various dangers while shopping/driving/dating/using a cell phone or the ones that promise you all sorts of security/blessings/miracles if you forward it on to X amount of friends in X amount of time.  I appreciate knowing that others around me care for my well-being and think enough of me to want to share the best/keep me from common dangers.  However, if I were to follow through on every last line of every last letter, this would be the result. Thanks, but "No, thanks".

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) has taken on a new form - a flash game.  The FSM folks, while trying to be funny, have made a point. Don't misunderstand me - I wholeheartedly believe that the God created everything in the universe.  However, the manner in which ID is being presented has within itself a vulnerability that the FSM folks are exposing.  The problem here is that, by leaving out "God of the Bible" as the definition of the Designer, you leave the gate wide open to anyone's interpretation of who the Designer is. And the FSM folks have wheeled in their Trojan Horse.

Over the course of the last few months, I have spent some time digging into some of the "isms" present in theology. My conclusion? Our God is SO much bigger than any system of theology man can create. He can (and often does) defy human logic. On a lighter note, I just found this: Manila Drive: The Semi-Pelagian Narrower Catechism It's funny and it hurts at the same time. All too often, we function as if Christianity were a formula - if you take this, add this, subtract that and multiply, you will have salvation/redemption/pick-any-"tion"-you-want. Kudos to Manila Drive for giving us the opportunity to laugh at ourselves and think a little harder.

There is often a lack of thought behind some people's actions - the bankrobber who writes his "give me your money" note on the back of his own business card, the teen who spills gas on himself while siphoning from someone else's vehicle and then chooses to ignite a lighter to see how wet he is … - well, you know the type. I do not endorse criminal or "potentially" criminal actions, but there is a certain amount of satisfaction derived when someone really puts some thought into what they are going to do.